Making Fear not a Factor

I had a chance to reconnect with one of my bible study contacts when I was still working in the campus ministry. He was just on his 2^nd year in nursing at that time and now it’s already two years since he had passed the licensure exams.

Just like most of the nurses I know, he too had wanted to work abroad specifically in the US. So to make that dream come true, right after he passed the board exams, he reenrolled in a review center to take his NCLEX. After months of review, he was finally ready to take the exams with much confidence knowing that he has given his best and he had prayed enough.

However, when he got the result, he found out that he didn’t pass. He felt bad but then he remained positive. He didn’t blame God nor blamed himself. “May be its not yet my time to pass”, that’s how he consoled himself.

With the continual support from his family, he reenrolled again for the review. He didn’t entertain any doubts that time. He didn’t want to fail again. After all it’s already his second time. So he was more relax and confident. He took the exam and patiently waited for the release of the results.

When he checked the net for the results, his tears fell down. He didn’t get it again. He was in pain but all that he could utter was “ok Lord, thank you. It was a humbling experience for him. He didn’t question God about it but he started to question himself and his competencies. “Was I that dumb? Was I overly confident?” It was easy for him to linger in pain for blaming himself but he chose to believe that everything happens for a reason.

When I asked him if he still planned to take the exams again, his answer was a positive yes. But he didn’t want to take it right now. He wanted to take a rest, reflect and recharge. He wanted to explore other possibilities in his field.

I commended him for having such positive attitude. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for him. If not for his faith in God he could have been leaving in bitterness and pessimism. If not for his family who loved him and supported him unconditionally, he could have lost his faith in himself. If not for his Christian friends who encouraged and prayed for him, he could have lost the power of His faith in God.

As I reflected upon his experience, I started to think about the people I knew who had lingered on the pain of their past failure. They became prisoners of their frustrations. They ceased to dream. They stopped to believe on their capacities. They lived in fear. I wished they were courageous as my bible contact was.

 I also started to think about my way of addressing my own failures. I have to admit that I too am prone to linger on my past. I’m afraid to fail again. But I have learned not to let my fear consume me. I have decided not to make fear a factor. I always recognize the fear within but I strived to choose not to listen to it. I strived to listen to the voice of truth that brings hope, promises love and builds faith. That voice is from God. The God who promises to never leave us not forsake us, the God who plans for what’s best for us and the God who protects us that even when we walk through the valley and the shadow of death we will not be afraid because He is with us.