Becoming a Better Person

Late sunday night, one of my blog readers who is also a spiritual brother of mine asked me if he could give a phone call and share some of the things he was going through lately. Since I was still very awake, I didn't hesitate to say yes right away. I gave my phone number and minutes after we were already starting our counseling session by phone.

Our conversation lasted for about an hour. I asked probing questions for me to understand the context of his situation. He was very clear what he wanted to become but he felt like he didn't know how to start the process. What he was sure and convinced of was that he needed and wanted to become a better person.

I felt the weight of his intention. He was getting tired of his inability to handle difficult situations. He wanted to gain control over the instability of his emotion. He simply wanted to be a "right person" in the eyes of his friends, family and God. But the challenge he was facing was how to start moving towards that direction.

I personally didn't have a comprehensive list to give him so he can start moving towards that direction. But as I reviewed our conversation, I realized that I did give some interesting directions. Below are some of the principles I shared with some additional explanations and personal reflections.

1. For us to a better person, we need to know our worth as a person. If we base our worth by the way people see us and treat us we would always end up in frustration. But if we base our worth by the way God sees us and loves us without condition, it will directly affect our self projection. If we will begin to see how valuable we are in God, we would also begin to based our happiness on God. Thus others misbehaviors would not become a threat to our inner happiness.

2. For us to be a better person, we need to guard our actions. Often times we don't realized that we have wounded people's heart by our careless actions and reactions to untoward situations. A simple gestures of dismay may heap up coals of fire on someone's head. If you will learn to guard your action, you would earn a pleasant reaction and you would save yourself from the hazards  relational disruptions.

3. For us to be a better person, we need to understand our emotions. If we try to control our emotion without understanding first its functions we may end up in confusion. We must understand that we are emotional beings. Emotion serves a dynamic function in our life. It sends signals whether what we are experiencing is good or bad, favorable or unfavorable. There is no such good or bad emotions because emotions are natural reactions. It is how we handle our emotions that determines if it has served its good functions for our emotional and personal growth. The best way to handle our emotion is to surrender it to God in total submission. It is allowing God to fill our emotional love tank so that our hearts will overflow with love joy and thankfulness in whatever circumstances we are in.

4. For us to be a better person, we must be willing to take new directions. Let us not be prisoners of our past failures and successes but let us be always open for new opportunities, adventures and challenges. The task ahead of us may be overwhelming but we are sure that we are on the path of winning. Whether dealing with new people or dealing with old people the new way, taking a road less travelled or taking the same road with less baggages , what matters most is we are wiling to follow the direction God has set for us. God did not require perfection but faithfulness. As long as we are faithful in taking baby steps toward growth and transformation, God will surely bless our direction.

We ended our conversation with great expectation for transformation. In the end I realized that it was not only him who sensed the need to become a better person but I sensed my own need as well. May this same desire be passed on to you as you read this blog.