A True Friend

I am a relational type person. I love to be around with people, I love the thrill that I feel when I am relating with my friends and I enjoy the opportunity of meeting and connecting with new people. That's why people often see me moving around in a party or gathering.

One time I was asked if I ever had a best friend. I seemed to enjoy whomever I get around with, so may be I have a lot. But if it's best, then it couldn't be many. I think I had been through many "best friends" in my life at different times. Interestingly, the way I view friendship before in comparison to my perspective right now had changed.

When I was asked with the question, I had names in my mind, but I don't label them as best friends right now although they fall into that category basing on how we treated each other. I love to call them as my true friends. True friends because they were...

T-rue. They don't hang around with me just because they wanted to get something from me. They have been there for me in different seasons. They mean what they say and they say what they mean because they want me to grow.

R-espectful. They don't force me to do something or manipulate my emotions. They respect my boundaries and honor my decisions. We've learned to enjoy each others differences and we continue to desire that we will live out our destiny in God and fulfill His purposes for our lives.

U-nconditionally Loving. They were committed to love me despite of my weaknesses, failures and tendencies. They might not have expressed that verbally, but their presence and their willingness to listen to my stories had shown that love to me. We may have some fights and misunderstandings as human beings, but we seek to forgive and love one another.

E-difying. They build my life up through their trust and confidence on my capacities. But more than that they were committed to pray for me because they trust God to fulfill His best plans for me. Their commitment to follow God had also served as an encouragement to me. The care, the accountability and the warm company means so much to me as I move forward to follow God wholeheartedly.

I'm sure there's a lot more to describe how they had been true friends to me. I desire that I would always be true to them as the Lord helps me. I may not be the best of their friends, but I can be their true friend. They may not be my best of friends but their being "true friend" is more than enough for me. Most importantly, I will never lose sight of God as my ever true friend.

Coming of Age

The baby is now a lady! This statement brings with it the excitement, the joy and the merriment of coming of age from being a girl to becoming a woman. In the Philippines, we call this celebration as "debut". When a young lady turns 18, the parents usually offer a special celebration for their former little girl. The celebration varies. With those who can afford an elaborate party, they usually have elegant celebrations in the hotels. Others, do the celebration in their own house, usually outside the house for bigger and open space. But still others, didn't have the chance to do this kind of celebration for different reasons.

As a young adult working with young people, I had many opportunities to witness the coming of age of our youth in the church and at times  among the christian community here in Davao City. I could not count how many times I have been to debut parties. Sometimes, I came as an escort of the debutante, many times I was included in the list of their 18 roses. But lately, I didn't get those kind of roles anymore. Instead I would always be asked to be the host. Although being a host of a party can be challenging, I found myself enjoying it. I like the privilege of thinking creatively on how to make the celebration a meaningful and special one not just for the debutant but for everyone.

The last celebration I hosted was last saturday night. It was the debut of one of our youth in the church held at rancher's grill. It wasn't really an elaborate celebration but a simple and heartfelt one. The parents sincerely intended the celebration to be a "passage to womanhood ceremony" where the debutante's parents released her to womanhood with blessings and prayers. The celebration was centered on God. God was the star of the party because of the different testimonies on how God used the debutante to touch the lives of her friends. The debutant herself concluded the party by sharing her Bible reading for that day. It was so interesting because the original plan was to end with "party dancing" but it end up with praising to the Lord.

Indeed it was a celebration of life, love and God. The coming of age does not only pertains to the numbers but to the number of years of God's faithfulness of making life's existence meaningful and filled with purpose.

The Adventure of Letting Go

It's not surprising for me anymore every time I hear a friend leaving or moving to a new place. I truly understood that each one has his or her own destiny to fulfill in life that only God clearly knows. But it doesn't mean that I am becoming immune to the unpleasant feeling of letting go of people who has been a part of my journey. 

This week, I have two friends who will be moving out from Davao. The first one is a member of my cell group. I met him when he was in college and shared the gospel to him. He grew in His relationship with God and became one of our youth leaders in the church. I witness how the Lord had changed him and used him. However, the Lord had opened an opportunity for Him to work in the Middle east and he is now preparing his way to go there. I am happy for him. I know that as much as I want to keep him here so we can do ministry together, God has a better plan for him

The second one is like a brother to me. He has been my computer mentor especially with my macbook. I met him when he was in high school and did bible study with him and his friends. Although his spiritual feeding had been through his church, we still had kept in touch and had regularly updated each other's life journey. I also witnessed how the Lord had worked in his life and how he had become a blessing to others and to me.  Now that he had  graduated in college, he sensed the need to be trained so that he will be maximized for God's Kingdom. He will be leaving for manila on sunday to be trained in Campus Crusade for Christ where both of his parents are missionaries. I am so excited as the Lord is starting to unfold His great plans for him. 

I thank the Lord for giving me opportunities to journey with these friends. I thank Him for the comfort I feel in knowing that He is there to lead us to where He wants us to go and grow. I thank Him for the adventure of letting go, the excitement of expecting the next He will do and the confidence of trusting Him so.

with me here is hesedel the one who will join CCC training

The Power of Words

Words are powerful. It could bring life or it could destroy a person. It can make someone happy but it can also break one's heart. It can build up faith but it can also devastate one's confidence.

This week I had an opportunity to witness how words uttered carelessly had destroyed the winning atmosphere in a certain team. Audibly, I heard the cry of someone who felt judged, condemned and mistreated. I've seen the wall of defense building up higher and higher. The trust was broken and no one owns the blame. The seed of denial and apathy had started to sprout. The former happy and loving relationship had turned sour and unbecoming. The former crown had become a thorn. A source of anxiety, worries and stress. What has become of the relationship? What had brought it there?

For this person I met, It's simply the negative words uttered in the guise of care and concern. She expected to be understood, protected and lifted up on that desperate moment but instead she felt being stabbed leaving wounds of words like sword. What could be done to patch up things? How could a wounded heart experience healing?

If negative words had broken down the relationships, positive words would be the best tool to rebuild it. Positive words like "I'm sorry", "forgive me" and "I admit I have hurt you" have such powerful healing capacity. It can break down the walls and defenses. It can soften the heart, it can bring forgiveness and reconciliation. 

This is what I've witness with the people I have journeyed with this week. Some were moved to shed tears while others exchanged warm embrace as a sign of a new beginning.

Words are indeed powerful. It can bring blessing or in can bring curse. That's why we need to choose to listen to the voice of God affirming us and assuring us of His unconditional love and best plan for us. It is only then that we are able to utter positive words for others when we are positive about our standing with God.

Be careful then what comes out from your mouth from now on.

Experience Stress Debriefing

"I'm stressed out", I don't know how many times I heard this statement from different people I had conversations, with regards to their field of work. The percentage is even higher among students. I have to be honest that I have uttered this statement too. 

Last semester, I was invited to conduct a workshop on stress management. In the process of preparing, I have learned valuable truths on how I have personally managed my own stressors and what else can I do to make it even better.

This semester, I was invited again to conduct the same workshop to around 1000 nursing students in one the colleges here in davao. It's a challenging opportunity to help our future nurses to apply self-care so that can give best care to their patients.

I'm excited on how the Lord is starting to open up more opportunities for personal and professional growth to extend my services not only to students but to my fellow help providers as well. This coming thursday and friday, I will be conducting stress debriefing and team building among the staff of RBI (Resources for the blind). Stress debriefing is more extensive than just conducting workshop on stress management. In stress debriefing, the participants would be able to process themselves with regards to the stressors that might have impede their complete functioning. It is necessary for those who are in the helping profession to experience supervision. 

I found it highly important among missionaries too, especially those who are in a cross-cultural missions. They need to experience stress debriefing of their varied mission experiences when they go back to their home country. This is the thing that I am discovering. I am starting to  conduct stress debriefing in one of our missionaries and hoping to let this opportunity be spread out.

You may contact me in the following numbers if you are interested to avail of this service. You may also refer this service to your company or to your friend. Thank you and God bless us all.

Adrian A. Bontuyan

09274853695

(082) 2271731

Wazzup?

"Wazzup" is a coined filipino word. It's actually a spontaneous utterance of the phrase "what's up". It is commonly used by our youth today. It could be categorized as one of the slangs in the Filipino language.

I usually used this word whenever I start a conversation with someone may it be in a chat or in a face to face conversation. I also have a friend who usually asked me that question but he even shorten it into one syllable "zup". At least that shortens the effort of typing and utterance.

Well may be some of you might want to ask wazzup with my blog adventure? I confess that I have not updated my blog as often as before. I was caught with many things to do and I don't have enough time to write anymore. However I won't miss this time to answer the question wazzup with my counseling passion.

In my previous entry, I shared about the counseling room that I had begun to use and made-over. This week I had my first private client. It was so affirming when she commented how beautiful the atmosphere of the room was. She was so grateful of our meeting as well.

 I'm so grateful how the Lord is causing my counseling career to start flourishing. I am receiving more invitations to speak on stress management. An NGO had requested me to conduct stress debriefing among their staff and workers.

I attribute all these opportunities to God as He is opening more doors for His love, peace and rest to be shared and expereinced by people through this counseling ministry He has entrusted to me. May we all experience God's peace and rest everyday as we fulfill His calling.

A Sense of Accomplishment

This week was filled with excitement. I finally had met with some of my clients at the seminary. I had been reviewing the results of the psychological exams they've taken.  I had been preparing how I could present to them the results so they would be aware of their strengths and weaknesses. It wasn't an easy task. Until now, I still am learning how to be a good communicator.

One of the things that gave me a sense of accomplishment this week was the progress of my project to make the counseling center more conducive for counseling. It made me excited as I exercise my creativity in utilizing the space and the facilities available. Below are the pictures we've taken today before I left the center. Hope you would give a visit sometimes. You need not go there as a client, you may go there as a friend.

I took that sofa from the library. Thanks to the generosity of Alne-our librarian. 

The plants were taken from the garden outside. Thanks for the kindness of jun2x-our caretaker.