No to Bitterness; Yes to Forgiveness

In our radio program today, one listener inquired on the issue of forgiveness. Specifically, the inquiry centered on the right timing of releasing forgiveness and the right way of relating back to the offender. 

These are very interesting questions. Many of us are really confused on when to forgive. A lot of us want the pain to linger and kept our hearts bitter. Of course we should be hurt when we are offended, that makes us human. It is alright to feel the pain of betrayal, disappointments and all forms of abuse. In fact, it is only when we recognize the pain that we could begin to experience the process of healing. Forgiveness is real and more meaningful when we are able to forgive despite of the pain. 

It is not easy to forgive, it is not our nature. We want revenge in the name of justice. We want vengeance in our hands. We may not necessarily do it but we certainly think about it. Worst when we make plans on how to go about it and end up doing it only to realize that it's not worth it.

It's not worth our time to delay forgiveness when we can do it now. It's not worth to lost the joy peace and serenity that a forgiving heart could bring. It's worth to free yourself from the heaviness of bitterness and experience the lightness of kindness. It is worth to make it a lifestyle to enjoy God's grace and forgiveness and passed it on to others. Because it's only when we experience God's forgiveness that we are able to forgive others.

 

However forgiveness is not necessarily taking away the consequences of the action of the offender. The person needs to face the consequences of his or her choice. Forgiveness is not necessarily trusting again the person right away. Forgiveness can be done right away but trust needs to be earned through time. Forgiveness is not also forgetting because we can't really forget things. In fact it is when remembering the offense and not feeling its pain anymore that we have actually experience healing.

Seems difficult, right? Yes it is! That's why, we need God's grace and help to maintain healthy relationships and to make it a habit not just to say no to bitterness and yes to forgiveness but, to live by it with our whole hearts.